


the eye of the storm

by mayahqrt



Category: Girl Meets World
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/M, Happy Ending, Maya is confused, a little rucas and joshaya in the beginning, fix it up fic, lucas's pov, lucaya - Freeform, post ski lodge fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-21
Updated: 2019-02-21
Packaged: 2019-11-01 17:56:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,415
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17872040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mayahqrt/pseuds/mayahqrt
Summary: It’s consistencies like these from before and after Maya's so-called identity crisis that allow Lucas to realize she never changed. In fact, if anything she found who she truly was inside. It’s consistencies like these that make him realize, "Shit, I still like Maya."in which lucas helps maya find who she is





	the eye of the storm

“Did you ever think this was how the triangle would have been resolved, Lucas?” Riley asks with hopeful eyes. The noises from Topanga’s bustle around them with coffee machines grinding and brewing, blenders whirring loudly, and others in the small cafe conversing, but the way Riley looks at Lucas with so much desire drowns out everything else around them. Lucas knows she’s always had doubts that he chose Riley simply because of circumstance, which isn’t entirely true but it also isn’t entirely false, so he comes up with an answer that he knows will satiate her.

“Not really, but I’m glad it did. No one got hurt.” _Other than me_ , Lucas thinks. Riley sighs happily and in relief after hearing his response and slips her hand into Lucas’s, intertwining their fingers. They’re seated on the central couch in Topanga’s with both feet propped up on the coffee table as they continue asking each other about their plans for the weekend and planning a date for Saturday. Across the quaint cafe sits Maya and Josh on the bar stools, turned to face each other. She looks happy, he thinks, with a new boyfriend, new style, and new but apparently old personality. As Lucas glances over at the other new couple, he catches Maya’s eyes, but she quickly reverts her gaze back to Josh.

Lucas thinks back to the night they returned from the ski lodge a month ago, when the triangle was resolved. Lucas had chosen Riley, and Maya was in the long game Josh. He was glad he never had to make a decision because that meant he never had to hurt anyone, but that didn’t mean he himself didn’t get hurt. The whole time, everyone said it was his choice to make, and he was prepared to choose one of the two girls. In fact, the decision was already made when the choice was ripped out of his own hands, and it hurt to know that no matter what his choice was, it didn’t matter. It wasn’t important. That night, when the bus arrived back at Abigail Adams High School, he and Maya walked in the same direction back home. The chilly breeze blowing at them kept them walking at a fast pace, but he wasn’t ready to part just yet, because that meant the trip was officially over. He’d officially be with Riley, and she would be in the long game with Josh.

When they reached the front of Maya’s apartment complex and finally came to a stop, Lucas broke the silence they had been walking in, refusing to let things end like this. “Maya, we should talk about this. Alone, you know. Without Riley and Josh here to pressure us to make certain decisions.”

“Lucas, there was only one decision to make. And that wouldn’t have even been a choice to make. It was Riley both ways. There’s nothing to talk about.” Maya attempts to end the conversation right then and there but fails.

“What do you mean, ‘There’s nothing to talk about’? You _turning into Riley_? How does that even work?” Maya flinches a little at that retort and tries to hide it as a shiver from the icy air, but Lucas notices. “You don’t just become someone unintentionally. Sure, people can influence you; people can change you. But you can’t become someone, it doesn’t work like that.”

“Well in this case, it does. I’m really tired Lucas, and I just wanna go to bed. It’s been a long weekend, and we have to get to school early tomorrow. Goodnight, Lucas.”

With that, Maya walked into her building, and the door slams, solidifying everything into place. Lucas was confused, frustrated, conflicted. Everything was chosen for him, and he didn’t have a single say in this situation. He could see Maya wasn’t comfortable with the whole thing, but Maya, for some reason, was letting Riley tell her who Maya was.

Lucas snaps back to reality when Riley asks to go back home and watch a movie together. The two couples exchange their goodbyes and continue their dates separately. At least they’re happy. He has to believe that Maya’s happy right now. He has to believe he didn’t hurt anyone in the decision he didn’t make. He has to believe this, even if it’s a lie.

He leaves the Matthews’s apartment at around two in the morning and treks home through the chilly winter air. On the way home, he finds himself taking turns that aren’t the way home but also aren’t unfamiliar. He wanders through the city at night and finds himself at the doorway of Maya’s apartment complex. She’s usually awake at this time, and he finds no harm in stopping by. They’re still friends, despite the fact that they never spend time alone together anymore, but they promised to always be there for each other whenever they needed someone to talk to.

Maya is sitting on her bed with only her night lamp on, sketching in her journal when he arrives outside her window. He lightly taps on her window, making sure not to startle her, and she looks up from her journal to see Lucas shivering outside on the fire escape and greets him with a gentle smile. She quickly climbs out of bed and opens her window to let him in. “Hey, Lucas. It’s freezing and late, what are you doing here? Everything alright?”

“Yea, yea. I’m fine. I don’t know, actually. I was just walking home… and before I realized I had taken the wrong turn, I ended up here.”

“Well it’s freezing out there, so do you want anything to drink? Water? Hot chocolate?”

“Hot chocolate sounds great, thanks Maya.” Lucas takes a seat at the foot of her bed while Maya leaves to the kitchen to make the hot chocolate. This used to be a common occurrence before, but now, a lot of things have changed. He admires the new pieces of artwork that she’s created since the last time he had gone over and recognizes a few familiar sceneries – a drawing of the cabin they had stayed at, a painting of the view from the mountains, and a sketch of a figure out in the distance walking away from something or someone. Lucas doesn’t know if he’s being delusional when he thinks it looks like him, but before he puts anymore thought into it, Maya returns with two cups of hot chocolate with way too many jumbo marshmallows.

“I ran out of mini ones, but thought one marshmallow wouldn’t do it justice,” Maya laughs. A marshmallow almost tumbles out of the mug, but Maya tilts the mug the other way, balancing it perfectly.

“Wow, those are some handy skills right there,” Lucas compliments with a genuine grin.

“Well, you don’t work at Topanga’s and make Zay’s hot chocolates with a normal amount of marshmallows, so I’ve had a lot of practice,” Maya smugly brags. She takes a seat next to Lucas, hands him his mug, and they slowly sip on the warm drink careful not to burn their tongues. It’s nice, he thinks, that they’re still able to laugh like this after all they have been through.

“How are you and Josh?” Lucas asks. He knows this is a sensitive question between them but he needs to know how she’s doing. If she’s fine after how everyone sees her as someone who doesn’t know who she is.

“We’re good. A little slow, but we’re good. You and Riley?”

“We’re good.” He lets out a little laughs at his pathetic response. “I’m sure you know all of the details of our relationship from Riley.”

“Yea, I do. Maybe a little too much, but she’s just excited to finally be in a relationship.”

“Mind if I ask you a question?”

“Shoot, cowboy”

Lucas chuckles at the nickname that slipped out. He hasn’t heard her joke around with him in a while, and he really missed it. “Did you ever like me? Before all this ‘becoming Riley’ stuff. Did you ever like me?”

Maya inhales sharply and doesn’t let her breath go. She seems lost in thought, not really sure how to answer, because for Maya, everyone just accepted what Riley concluded as the truth. Lucas notes that her stormy blue eyes, which are usually crystal clear with a spark of ambition in them are now clouded with pain and confusion. She finally exhales and pauses for a moment. “No, Lucas, I’ve never liked you.”

He feels a flash of a sharp pain in his heart and feels it drop because as much as he mentally prepared himself for the worst, hearing the words out loud hurt way more. He didn’t think he’d ever see Maya’s eyes in this state – clouded, lost – and after revealing the truth, they only became shrouded in more confusion. Deep down, he knew it was a lie, at least deep down he wanted to believe it was a lie because he wanted to believe he knew who he fell for, and it wasn’t all fake. But on the surface, he’s relieved because it means he did the right thing, and he “chose” correctly.

“It’s late, and I should get back home. Thanks for entertaining me, Maya. See you at school.” With that, Lucas climbs out the window as quickly as he climbed in, and Maya is left with a ghost and a deafening silence. The wind blows sharply at his face, and the sting of the cold makes the blow of the truth that much harder. The city at three in the morning is pretty much dead, with the occasional car driving down the empty streets and without the chirp of any birds this late into the winter night. All that surrounds him are barren trees and icicles dripping off rooftops. He convinces himself he’s relieved in the cold. He convinces himself the pain he’s feeling is the chilling cold from the winter wind.

.     .     .     .     .     .

By the time spring rolls around, Spring Cleaning both literally and figuratively sweeps away all of the relationships for a fresh start. Maya ends the long game with Josh because they realized being a college student with exams every few weeks and a high school student with AP exams left no time for a relationship headed nowhere. Riley and Lucas end their four month relationship after they both realized their relationship wasn’t an all consuming love they wanted. They never fought and it was like Maya said – they were like brother and sister. Initially, their friend group was a little awkward, but eventually, they all returned to their regular, comfortable rhythm.

“Riley asked me if you two made the right decision ending things together,” Maya says. They’re laying on his bed with Maya’s head hanging off the foot of it, letting her blonde hair cascade down to the floor. Hangouts like these became a regular thing between them after both of their breakups. They always claim it is to study for biology, which was a lame excuse they gave their friends, but really, they had just missed each others’ company.

“Yea? What’d you say,” Lucas distractedly replies. He was reading one of his comic books while Maya hung her head upside-down, claiming the increased blood flow helped her think better.

“At first, I said she knew best because she was the one in the relationship. But then she followed up with saying that I became her and asked what I would have done.”

Lucas could hear her voice waver a little at the last part, and he put his book down to focus his attention on her. “Mhmm, and what’d you say in response?”

“Nothing, I just said I was tired and took a nice nap in her bed. It was a good one, dreamt about skipping school and going to Paris.”

It’s comments like these that make Lucas wonder if he wasn’t the only one that believed the identity crisis storyline was absurd. The subtle ways Maya would flinch at any mention of it, and the ways she’d avoid the topic like the plague. It’s things like these that got Lucas thinking if he wasn't the only one doubting that Maya _became_ Riley.

“What about you? Got any doubts about breaking up with Riley?” Maya asks.

“Not really. Not gonna lie, I feel kinda liberated now that I’m not in a relationship; I can finally focus on just myself. Don’t get me wrong, Riley’s great, just… I don’t think we’re compatible for a relationship,” Lucas confesses. He’s a little scared because he is talking about her best friend in not the best light, but he hopes it’s gentle enough. He did like Riley when they had first started dating. Everything felt so fresh and new, while they learned each others’ habits and interests, but once they moved out of the honeymoon phase, things started to slow down for them. They never really argued over anything and their relationship fell into a comfortable rhythm that eventually became mundane for the both of them. It was in both of their best interests to break up, he believed.

“I get you. I spent my whole childhood fantasizing about dating Josh, but I think I built him up way way too much because we both just weren’t willing to put in all the effort for long distance. Plus there’s a huge maturity gap between us. I’m thinking about college while he’s thinking about careers. It just didn’t work for us.” Lucas nods in response, understanding her perspective. They were both in very different situations, but he’s glad there’s someone who understands.

.     .     .     .     .     .

Lucas loves springtime in New York. He loves the cool mornings that gradually warm up to a comfortable temperature, leaving him unsure of what to wear, the aroma of newly bloomed flowers that wafts to his nose as he takes a stroll through the city, and the bakeries that open early in the morning baking bread for the day always and welcome him for a cup of coffee and a sticky bun. His favorite time is when it rains. At night, the stars are clearer than ever, so he’s able to sit on the roof of his building admire their shine without freezing to death. The mornings after it rains are the best to stroll through, when there are less people out because the grass and benches are wet, so parents don’t take their kids out to play and when the air has that earthy scent it gains after it rains. It’s his favorite type of morning when he takes a stroll and makes a turn into the park they all gathered at not too long ago. He takes a seat on the bench, cringing a little as the leftover rain wets his pants. He stares in awe at Maya’s mural with giant letters spelling out “hope” with a heart in the center of the “O” and a colorful rainbow radiating out of the word.

He can’t help but admire Maya’s character and strength because even when she became “old, rebellious Maya” again, she still knew there was a voice inside pushing her to be good, to change, to hope. Even at her worst, she had the instincts to create something inspirational. Maya wasn’t a rule follower. She bent and broke the rules to do what she wanted, which made her incredibly stubborn but was to keep everyone else around her happy. She let go of Riley’s hand on the subway to push Riley out of her comfort zone to let her grow. Maya started a school riot in detention to brighten everyone else’s dreadful time. She risked her own life to save Farkle’s. She vandalized public property to inspire hope. It’s consistencies like these from before and after her so-called identity crisis that allow Lucas to realize Maya never changed. In fact, if anything she found who she truly was inside. It’s consistencies like these that make him realize, _Shit, I still like Maya_.

.     .     .     .     .     .

It’s a quiet night in watching movies for Lucas when he hears a gentle _tap tap tap_ on his window. He sees a fragile Maya with red, swollen eyes looking so vulnerable that makes him quickly climb out of bed to reach her side, but he stupidly forgets the earbuds attached to his laptop and is sharply dragged backwards by the long chord. Maya laughs at the sight of Lucas tripping over his earbuds, which is nice to see from her in this state. Finally, Lucas opens up his window to let her in and embraces her in the warmest hug he can give. _Her hair smells like the citrus trees back home_ , he notes. He’s not in a rush to prod her to open up because he knows she doesn’t like to be pushed, so he just offers a shoulder for her to cry on until she’s ready.

They’re sitting side by side on the floor against his bed with Maya’s head leaning on his shoulders when she finally speaks up. “I don’t know who I am anymore,” Maya whispers. It’s so gentle and frail, like she’s been pushed around too much and has finally reached the tipping point. “I’ve wanted to date Josh for so much of my childhood, but I didn’t even want that. Everyone keeps saying I’ve become Riley because I’m getting good grades, I fell for you, and I changed my wardrobe, and… and I don’t know what to believe anymore, Lucas. What’s wrong with me?” she continues in a voice even smaller than before. His heart crumbles, hearing her sound so lost.

“Well do you want me to say what I think of you? Maybe that can help?” Lucas suggests, and Maya nods in response. “I think that you are still the same Maya that approached me on the subway just to prove a point to your best friend. I think that you’ve grown into a wonderful person after all these years of trying to put yourself back together and trying to change and hope for something more in your life, but right now you’re just a little lost. I think you’ve been fighting everything and everyone for so long, that you’ve finally given in. But I need you to hear that you’re still you, Maya. The same one as before, not Riley or anyone else. And I know you’ll get through this stronger and better than before, I promise.”

“But what about the purple cat I drew without knowing? Doesn’t that show my deepest desires?”

“The purple cat was just some painting that showed Riley’s positive influence on you, that showed your growth and appreciation for all her help. You’re an artist right? Artists paint what influences them and what is around them, and Riley’s been the biggest influence of all. But that doesn’t mean you became her. People change people. You changed me, can’t you see that? I used to be a short-tempered teenage boy, and now I’m known as ‘the moral compass.’ I didn’t become anyone. Maya Hart has always been Maya Hart, the most selfless girl I know who cares more about everyone else’s happiness over her own.”

“But Riley would never try to stop me from growing or hurt me. She’s the one that pushes me to change and grow, so why would she make up this whole identity crisis thing?” Maya continues, trying and failing to wrap her head around what Lucas is saying. She wants to believe Riley didn’t cause all of this.

“We all know Riley would never intentionally hurt anyone, but accidents happen. And in this case, the accident just had a lot more damage than Riley ever could’ve realized. Riley’s scared of change, and I think you know that better than anyone. She saw you growing and becoming more independent, which made her believe you wouldn’t need her anymore. So she convinced herself you were becoming her and convinced everyone else of that too. But you need to hear this loud and clear. It’s okay to be selfish once in a while. It’s okay to grow and change, and I think right now is that time. Maybe what I just said is completely wrong, because what do I know, right? But let yourself grow, Maya. Let yourself be happy.” Lucas finishes what he wants to say, and they sit there in silence.

Maya soaks in what she just heard, unsure if everything Lucas figured out was true, but one thing was crystal clear – someone believes she didn’t become Riley Matthews. Maya shifts her body to face Lucas, and he notices her eyes this time, aren’t a cloudy blue but they’ve cleared up a little, and he looks forward to seeing them sharp and clear once again. She wraps her arms around him tightly and whispers, “Thank you, so much. It means a lot,” into his chest and doesn’t let go.

.     .     .     .     .     .

The next time he hears a familiar _tap tap tap_ on his window is two days after their conversation while Lucas is studying in his room. It has become such a common occurrence that he works with one earbud out, in case he doesn’t hear Maya’s light knock because his mom refuses to let him leave it unlocked at night.

“I fought with Riley about the identity crisis thing,” Maya explains why she has come over, even though it isn’t really needed – she’s always welcome. “I think she took it pretty well? A couple tears were shed here and there, but it ended with an apology and lots of cuddles, so I consider it a win.”

Lucas looks into her eyes and sees the storm has finally subsided, and her eyes are as sharp as ever. He knows everything will be fine with her. “That’s good, I’m relieved. I don’t want to be the cause of another rift between the two of you, so I’m sorry for any trouble I’ve caused.”

“It’s not your fault. In fact, I should thank you for letting me realize what was wrong, so thank you, Huckleberry.”

Lucas offers to watch a movie with her to make her feel better, but Maya claims she doesn’t want to be a bother to him and studies with him for their upcoming biology exam. However, in Lucas’s mind, Maya can never be a bother.

.     .     .     .     .     .

On a Friday night after exams, Maya and Zay force Lucas to watch an Audrey Hepburn movie marathon, since he somehow has never watched a single one of her classics. They’re gathered on Maya’s bed with a projector casting the movie onto the ceiling, so they don’t have to sit up and watch (genius idea courtesy of Zay). When they finish their second movie, they decide to take a break to pop more popcorn and refill on drinks. Maya goes to make three hot chocolates and walks back, trying very hard to balance three mountains of marshmallows.

“Wanna hear a great Lucas story, Maya?” Zay asks with an all knowing smirk.

“Every time you utter those four little words, something hilarious about Huckleberry here is revealed. So yes, Isaiah Babineaux. Spill,” Maya eagerly commands.

Lucas on the other hand has a look of fear, scared of what secret is about to be spilled. “Zay, don’t you dare. I don’t even know what you’ll say, but either way, I’ll slap your flatass back to Texas,” Lucas threatens, but Zay shrugs it off as an empty threat.

“Oh, it’s nothing. Just a little something about Lucas’s decision between a certain brunette and blonde beauty.” Zay adds a teasing lilt at the end, knowing the sheer amount of power he holds in that moment. Lucas, on the other hand, can no longer sit still, knowing what is about to be revealed, and he lurches at Zay, but Zay is too quick and jumps up. As he ducks out of the window, he screeches, “It was you Maya, it’s always been you!” with Lucas following closely behind. However, Zay’s too quick and disappears, and Lucas stops before he exits the window, knowing he should stay and explain himself. Every bit of him is too embarrassed to face Maya, but he knows the least he could to is give her an explanation.

“So… Wanna explain what that was all about?” Maya asks with a humorous tone.

_She doesn’t seem too mad or shocked, which is a good sign, he thinks._ “Not really,” Lucas truthfully mumbles. He feels heat rise to his cheeks, and he knows they’re a bright shade of pink. “But I’m also not going to deny what Zay said isn’t true.”

“Hmm, so you liked me? Or do you still like me?” Maya asks with a slight grin.

Lucas isn’t sure if this is supposed to be a prank or a test for him, whether he’s supposed to answer in present or past tense. But he realizes this may be his only chance to confess the feelings he’s had all along, and he has already lost her once. He isn’t about to let her go a second time. “Like. Present tense. It’s always been you, Maya Hart.” Maya breathes in sharply, not really sure if she had heard correctly. “What about you? Do you like me back?” Lucas asks. He isn’t sure where all this courage is coming from, but when he looks into Maya’s comforting eyes, he feels like he can do almost anything.

“Yea, I like you too, Huckleberry.”

“Are you sure? This isn’t a lie?” Lucas checks. He knows the answer to that, but he needs to hear it out loud to be sure.

“I’m sure. It’s always been you,” Maya says with a certain tone.

His heart is pounding at a mile per minute, and he feels elated that the girl he’s waited for for so long is finally here, in front of him within reach. He tucks a strand of hair behind her ear and leaves his hand there to cup the side of her face. He brushes her cheek with his thumb to make sure she’s real and this isn’t a dream, and when he’s sure it isn’t, he asks, “Can I kiss you?”

Maya replies, “Yea.”

She rises on her toes and grabs his collar down towards her so their lips meet for a tentative kiss. They part, and Lucas gazes into her eyes, clear and certain of her own desires that are asking for another kiss. So he leans in, once again, for another kiss but doesn’t part just yet because he’ll never get enough of Maya Hart.

**Author's Note:**

> hello!!! if you've made it all the way here, then thank you so much for reading!! pls leave lots of kudos and comments cuz they make my day and make me wanna write more  
> also if you couldn't tell i LOVE hot chocolate :)
> 
> find me on tumblr @mayahqrt


End file.
